Pretty Growing Pains
This year i finally turn 18.
A moment that I've been waiting for such a long long time.
After i finished my spm, i was really busy throughout december
and i felt like i was finally living properly. like i'm finally
breathing properly and everything that happened before was a
dream. I'm hooked to that feeling.
Leaving school is definitely a huge highlight of 2015 for me haha
apart of me just couldn't wait to get out but apart of me felt sad
that i dont get to see my insane buncho friends as often. And also
apart of me was really afraid, afraid of dafuq is gonna happen next.
I'm oblivious but i hope i'm slowly getting there.
Also for the past 18 years, i have been through a lot a lot of growing pains. I believe growing pains are crucial so here are some of mine.
endless self loathing
hated how i looked. hated the way i acted.
hated why i wasn't as pretty as others.
hated why i wasn't as smart as others.
hated why i wasn't as outgoing as others.
hated why i wasn't who i wanted myself to be.
hated why i hated myself so much.
the social pressures put upon my shoulders were so
heavy i felt like my shoulders were gonna break
and turn into dust. The stress and anxiety
come rolling in next when i was already on the ground.
I was squashed flat like a pancake. Being a teenager
was really really hard. My adolescence consisted of painful days
and blissful days, but these growing pains are bittersweet.
Some days i wake up feeling blessed, i breathe in the air
in the morning on my walk to school and i admire the colour of the sky. Sometimes the sky is really blue with a hint of pink, yellow and orange. Some days i go on evening walks while i listen to lucy rose or bombay bicycle club and still have a really good time. Also somedays i do some really i crazy shyt with my friends and laugh so much till we tear up. Also when my family goes back to my hometown to see my grandparents when i was younger to celebrate chinese new year. These are the best times of my life.
I just hope 2016 is going to be a good year although
i started the year by almost crashing my desktop computer, breaking a glass cup and an egg in a same day. I hope it's some kind of good luck ahahhaaahha lol idk I just want to be really happy this year. :)
No comments:
Post a Comment